Post Bahamas 2009: The Aftermath

This post is actually from DECEMBER 9... I just never got a chance to post it... I'm posting it seperately just so that that's made clear.

Coming home from this trip, wow, what a culture shock. Not only culture, but spiritual as well. Then take into consideration, the amount, the extent and the depth of everything that I now have to process... it’s all very intense.

Even little things like driving… I never thought would be so weird, or take so long to get used to again. The hardest part about returning to our culture of driving for me was the hailing. So many times I’ll come to the edge of the road or pass someone walking on the side of the road and want to wave to them. I catch myself realizing that if I were to do that, in our society, it would be a little strange. That then got me to thinking and made me realize; if I were to wave at them, they would think I was crazy or if I would honk at them, they would think I was upset. It put into perspective… just how closed of we are as a society, concerned with only ourselves and our own issues. We revolve around the individual (our own individual, me, myself and I). Upon walking down the street, we barely even look at each other in passing, no smiles, nothing. Now don’t get excited on me, I’m talking in extremes here… there are people who go against the status quo. Still, my point is that the majority of society lives in a box. It’s a very difficult thing for me to return to. There are a lot of other examples but I don’t have the time to go into them right now.

I don’t want it to seem that these things are simply things that I now believe just because I’m coming off of a high. Yes, there is something to be said about coming home from a mission trip and these things are to be expected. So many people say that the only reason we are so adamant about these ideals is because we are coming off of the high from the mission trip... I disagree… I think it’s entirely different. These are things I’ve always known (as in, been taught throughout my years at Westgate). Most of the things I’ve come home with are things I’ve already known… the only difference is that being on the trip has put them into an entirely different perspective of reality; it’s made these ideals a part of who I am. I truly believe, for myself at least (I cannot speak for everyone else), that the changes that happened in me on this trip and even now in the aftermath were and are much deeper and much more life altering changes than just a spiritual high………. See… for me… coming home was the opposite of a high. From the things I’ve experienced on the trip, although much of it was amazing and watching God move in so many awesome ways was incredible… For me, some of the things I went through simply left me broken and exhausted. It had a very sobering effect on the spiritual things that I learned on the trip. Which helped me realize that every revelation, every mindset that was broken, every perspective that was changed all happened at a very different level inside of me than just a spiritual high. It happened at a deeper level… that has altered my state of mind. It’s altered my identity as well; it’s strengthened it, shaped it, molded it and refined it.

I’m still going through a lot of it right now. There were a lot of things that I faced on the trip that again, will take me months to process. I’m going to try and keep up with it on the blog here but I doubt that’ll happen. I know I’ll come back and write eventually, you just won’t have the “along the way thoughts”… you’ll have the “upon reflection, looking back” thoughts. Which is good too, sometimes better because by then I’ll have everything processed out and be able to explain things better as opposed to speaking from behind the messy veil that emotions tend to create. In the meantime, I know that in my heart… the trip isn’t over. As hard as some of the things I’m going through are, I’m so excited to see what God wants to teach me, because I know that I serve a God that even in the midst of strife and conflict, He turns everything around for His glory. He takes the worst of situations, and if we listen, and if we allow Him, He teaches us more and more about who He is and the things that He can do despite of us. I’m just glad and blessed that I serve Him, and that I can trust Him and know that no matter how bleak it might look now, or how much hurt there might be or confusion or weariness, the outcome will be beautiful… because that’s the God that I serve. Praise His name!

Feel free to comment your thoughts by the way!